Have you ever wondered, “Why am I scared to confront someone?”.
You may constantly find yourself being wronged by people.
It may make your blood boil or cause you bump into analysis paralysis but the thought of stepping up for yourself appears to be ever hectic and impossible.
Hiding in a shell and shying away from the confrontation is not going to do anything but turn you into a doormat.
But worry no more, as this article will give you insights into why you are scared to confront people so you can start your journey toward being assertive and authoritative.
Let’s go!
Why Am I Scared to Confront Someone?
Drilling the reasons why you are scared to step up for yourself is the key to being assertive during the confrontation.
When you know exactly what’s holding you back, it’s much easier to tackle the situation.
Realizing the underlying causes of fear can be very helpful to devise an effective strategy to eliminate it.
Let’s take a look at why you are scared to confront people.
1. Lack of Self-Esteem
The most probable cause, of why you are scared to confront people is your low self-esteem which loves to live in the basement.
The lack of self-esteem can contribute to a lot of problems and could be the most prominent reason that’s holding you back in life altogether.
When you don’t believe in yourself, then your mind signals your body not to confront anyone as it doesn’t trust you with it.
You have doubts about yourself, your capabilities, or your attitude toward life in general, hence your mind signals you not to take risks.
And it does it by igniting fear in you as you approach someone stressing situations like confrontation.
2. Fear of Rejection or Judgment
Do you know a strange finding?
A survey was conducted in the US about what people fear the most, and the results were shocking.
Death was rated the second most fearful thing; public speaking was rated the first. Why?
Because of fear of judgment. You are experiencing the same thing but in a different dimension.
You have a fear of how people are going to react when you confront them.
It’s natural to experience a little bit of resentment due to confrontation but this little bit appears a mountain to you.
Next time you ask why am I scared to confront someone, try noticing if it’s because of a famous thing, what people will think of me.
3. Past Negative Experiences
You know what, our past likes to haunt us and this time’s no different. This nightmare could be the cause of why you are scared to confront people.
Research says, a child is in a hypnotic state from the age of one to seven, and whatever he experiences lays down a framework for his mindset for the future.
However, it can also occur in older age but it’s just to give you an idea of how our past can twist our attitude towards challenges.
There’s a high possibility you have experienced an unfavorable outcome in your past due to confrontation.
So, the confrontation has become sort of a trigger that reminds you of your past and begs you not to do it again due to the fear of history repeating itself.
4. Lack of Necessary Skills
Confronting someone requires you to do some homework on the backend. You need certain traits and skills to take a chance in confrontation.
One of these is assertiveness.
It is a combined effect of multiple factors: your body language, tonality, volume, or words.
If you lack in these departments, you are likely to struggle with being assertive.
And lack of assertiveness can decrease your overall confidence regarding confronting someone and hence make you afraid to do so.
However, assertiveness isn’t something one is born with. It’s a skill that can be learned by anyone.
5. You Don’t Take Risks
To be honest, confrontation is a bit scary.
You don’t know how the situation will unroll. It could erupt in a fight or worse. This uncertainty can be the culprit why you are scared to confront people.
Chances are you are someone who doesn’t like to do things spontaneously but rather in a calculated way.
And when you think of confronting someone, you can already see gladiators fighting wildly or may even feel a broken tooth and hence back off.
It is because you avoid taking risks and like to play safe. It’s a wise thing however but don’t impose so many rules on yourself.
Allow yourself to be a little bit loose, and a bit careless to avoid exhausting yourself.
Break some rules, lose some teeth, and never ask why am I scared to confront someone.
Pun intended of course, duh.
But allow yourself to take some risks and be flexible. Be okay with making mistakes, it’s life after all.
6. Too Much Dependency
In this world, it’s quite normal to depend on each other.
We depend on someone with something and they depend upon us with something else. Beautiful, isn’t it?
But it’s not so much beautiful when your dependency on others begins to rise like inflation. It could lead to the reason why you are scared to confront people.
When you are depending too much on others even your basic needs, you have a lot at stake.
Confronting means you run a chance of upsetting the person who can cut off their aid to you.
It’s not the end. It can result in someone abusing and taking advantage of you.
With so much dependency, others can exploit it and manipulate you. They know you can’t question them and hence feel free to push your limits.
Therefore, it’s crucial to be self-reliant especially in this age, to save yourself from a lot of drama and damage.
7. Fear of Personal Vulnerability
Confrontation requires you to be the brand ambassador of your feelings and values.
During the argument, you represent and defend your ideas usually with conviction.
By the way, a conviction can also make you prone to irrationality. If you want to know more about it then check our guide on thinking rationally.
Back to the topic, if you are someone who feels uneasy about representing your ideas and values, there’s a fair chance you’ll complain, why am I scared to confront someone?
It’s also linked with the lack of esteem and a specific issue manifested due to the lack of it.
You need to find value in what you believe, your thoughts, and your ideas to kill this problem.
It’s a slow and gradual journey but definitely possible.
How to Overcome The Fear To Confront Someone
This may require a dedicated article on its own, however, we’ll cover this briefly to give an idea and starting point to embark on your journey.
1. Build Self-Esteem
Build self-esteem. Try to recognize your potential and your objective. It will set up a foundation for a strong Personality.
It will not only make you at ease during the confrontation but hold the ground when the situation isn’t in your favor.
2. Don’t Try to Control Everything
Try not to control the situation too much. When we expect the conversation to unfold in a certain way, we naturally begin to play on the back foot.
Even the smallest of unfavorable circumstances appear like a mountain. The best way to deal with it is to be okay even if the situation doesn’t play on your terms and reduce your expectations.
3. Start Small to Be Big Tomorrow
Start small. If someone confronts you on something small, then take this as an opportunity. Try playing a bit rough just for the sake of being comfortable with it.
You have nothing to lose so why not hone your confrontation skills?
This brings us to the end of the article.
Why am I scared to confront someone can be attributed to multiple reasons.
It generally stems from a lack of self-confidence, assertiveness, or willingness not to take risks.
However, if it persists can lead to several unnecessary problems in one’s life. You will constantly find yourself nodding at the wrong times or compromising.
Conclusion
This brings us to the end of the article.
Why am I scared to confront someone can be attributed to multiple reasons.
It generally stems from a lack of self-confidence, assertiveness, or willingness not to take risks.
However, if it persists can lead to several unnecessary problems in one’s life. You will constantly find yourself nodding at the wrong times or compromising.
Therefore it is crucial to overcome the fear of confrontation and relieve yourself of unnecessary burden. But how to do it? Let’s save this story for some other day.
Have you ever found yourself saying yes just because you were afraid to confront someone? Let us know in the comments below.
Therefore it is crucial to overcome the fear of confrontation and relieve yourself of unnecessary burden. But how to do it? Let’s save this story for some other day.
Have you ever found yourself saying yes just because you were afraid to confront someone? Let us know in the comments below.
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