If you’re wondering why are your 20s so hard, then you’re not alone. Almost everyone in their lives has been in a similar situation. And why not since navigating your 20s feels like trying to solve a puzzle without a guide.
Everyone begins to yearn for glory and success without knowing where to start. This era is also marked by career, adult responsibilities, heartbreak, and self-discovery that drastically shapes your life ahead.
In this article, we’ll see why 20s are stressful and what can you do to make it 10x better for you.
The 20s Are A Double-Edged Sword – A Personal Experience
I have always been a socially anxious person since I was 10 but never really paid attention to it. Though I was one of the brightest in the school, oral examinations and anything that had interaction with people were my worst nightmare.
However, whenever I would get overwhelmed with anxiety, I would just play video games all day long and consider my troubles gone. This coping mechanism went on for a decade.
When I finally jumped into my 20s, nothing was the same. Every job required an interview which was nothing less than a survival to me. Facing the panel just made me lose my mind.
However, I decided to push through it, reminding myself how it had been my fault all along for ignoring the issue in the last decade, had I tackled this early on, things would not have been so harsh.
I rid myself of life-sucking video games, devoted myself to taking responsibility, and embarrassed myself quite a lot by putting myself out there. But it was worth it every second.
Now I am 25 but already a lot poles apart from what I was in the beginning. I still have a long way to go as you never stop learning but no longer see challenges as a setback.
When your 20s throw blades at you, you have a choice either to be cut by it or wield it to cut your hardships.
The choice is yours!
Why Are Your 20s So Hard?
Though life can be hard for anyone at any time but 20s are a time when almost everyone struggles for more or less the same reasons.
It’s a time when you step from adolescence to adulthood and the package of challenges is handed over to you along with it.
Now let’s take a deeper look at why are your 20s so hard.
1. You Can No Longer Run Away from Your Fears
Humans are fascinating beings. All of us have some insecurities and weaknesses from an early age.
However, many of us choose to shy away from them because it’s too difficult to acknowledge that we have a weakness since it contradicts the image of ourselves, we have crafted in our minds. People turn a blind eye to their weaknesses, pretending nothing is there.
One of the most common coping mechanisms people use is to distract themselves from their problems. They would surf the web, scroll social media, or watch movies to keep themselves busy in their fake world to gain pleasure and avoid pain by ignoring their weaknesses.
It can work in your childhood and teenage but not in your adulthood because you have to do your own thing. Another huge reason your 20s are so hard is you can no longer run away from your fears.
For Example,
If you have social anxiety, it will now haunt you as you have to deal with people yourself rather than depending on your parents.
All your fears and weaknesses you had buried in the past will now get you. Now you don’t have a choice but to keep running in life with your fears on your shoulders. It can be draining, it can be exhausting but that’s the price you pay for avoiding them earlier.
2. You Find Yourself Running in The Peer Race
Imagine entering a place where everyone is running in a direction and there’s smoke everywhere. You feel confused about why they are running, what they are running from, and what’s going on.
But you’ll inevitably start running soon while all the confusing yet frightening thoughts race through your mind.
You feel the pressure of keeping up with your peer or an imaginary monster may get you if you fall behind.
That’s how adulthood feels initially. And why your 20s are so hard is you don’t know the direction of what to do. Many people just look around and immediately start doing what others are doing.
They also feel the pressure of keeping up with the race as they don’t know what else to do if not this.
A reality check is there are 7+ billion people in the world but surprisingly more or less everyone wants to follow the same path.
For Example,
In South Asia, where everyone either wants to become a doctor or engineer but no one wants to try something else. Why? Because everyone is doing it, it must be true.
3. You Face the Challenges of Practical Life
When we are kids, we tend to be very carefree. All our needs are met by our parents, we feel free from all troubles and only have to usually study and play.
But when we finally step into our practical lives, things change. We realize life is not how we’ve always imagined it.
We begin to face a series of challenges one after the other.
- Suddenly, you’re responsible for managing your own finances, from paying bills to saving for the future. This shift from financial dependence to independence can be daunting.
- Entering the workforce brings its own set of challenges, including finding a job that aligns with your passions and pays the bills, navigating office politics, and dealing with job insecurity.
- As we grow older, our relationships evolve. Finding and maintaining meaningful friendships, romantic relationships, and networking for professional growth become more complex.
4. You Begin to Understand Harsh Realities
When we are young, we don’t notice the nuances of people and their personalities. We take the oversimplified version of everything. We imagine that friends are supposed to have each other’s back and be selfless in it. We imagine people are necessarily good and take their friendly façade to be the truth.
- It’s only in our 20s that we get to know there’s something called give-and-take in relationships. We begin to realize that no one is as selfless as we’ve always imagined them to be. This sudden discovery comes as a shock that shatters the image we’ve been building for years.
- As we make our journey deeper into our 20s, we begin to realize that most people are just faking their friendliness. When you turn to them in need, thinking of them to be as you’ve ever imagined, you can now see the ugly real face emerging beneath the friendly mask.
- The shocking and hurtful discoveries you make of life along the way give you the impression that you’ve been always deceiving yourself. Now a new version of life with new understanding unfolds before you and you have no choice but to bear it.
5. You Get Adult Responsibilities Handed Over
Another reason why your 20s are so hard is the brand-new set of adult responsibilities. Gone are the days when finance to you was having enough money to buy candy.
- Now financial responsibilities knock on your door, demanding an understanding of budgets, savings, and investments. These merely were words for you some years ago but now things have changed.
- The career landscape unfurls before you with a mix of opportunities and obstacles. Now you have to find a job that pays the bills but face rejections in interviews here and there. This adds another layer of mental challenge where not seeing yourself make the mark puts you in stress.
- Relationship dynamics shift dramatically. Friendships and romantic relationships deepen, evolve, or sometimes drift apart. Your deep desire to belong but facing rejection from them makes you wonder if something is wrong with you. You now see relationships as more of a job than selfless connections back then.
6. You Fight for Your Identity Among Billions
One thing that is universal among all humans is the belief that they somehow are intelligent in their own ways. Nobody thinks of themselves as inferior. Even if they are, most will try to find an excuse to maintain their image.
However, when you enter adulthood, you’re just a novice starting somewhere. Your instinct to feel special doesn’t get enough evidence to feed itself.
You feel ordinary, faceless, and lost among many. This can easily lead to stress and anxiety. Depression tries to creep in as the inferiority complex gets strengthened.
7. You Are Overwhelmed with The Choices
Being overwhelmed with the choices is yet another reason your 20s are so hard. When you enter the valley of adulthood, you have a plethora of ways in front of you. Each one sounds as promising and you can’t decide what to do. It won’t be wrong to say that you want to be on every boat.
- The number of choices you assume to have can easily lead to overthinking paralysis. You keep evaluating your options again and again but can’t seem to arrive at any conclusion.
- Sometimes you think you want to start a tech company, then you get a whisper, “Why not digital marketing?”. The fact that you’ve not discovered yourself enough makes it even more daunting where your passion lies.
8. You Want to Do So Much but Don’t Know Where to Start
Our 20s are the time when we typically have the most energy in abundance. But it is also a time when you don’t know where to invest this energy, easily leading to frustration and anxiety.
- You are ambitious, you can’t wait to take over the world but you can’t figure out what button to press first.
- You start throwing random stabs in the dark, trying different combinations but when you don’t get to see good results right away, your frustration can’t help but fly.
- Combine it with the newly added adult responsibilities, relationship challenges, and financial problems, and you have the recipe for the perfect question, “Why are your 20s so hard”.
9. You Now Have to Make All the Decisions for Yourself
Decisions are daunting and terrifying but people seem to underestimate them.
They are often seen as merely selecting from several choices but reality is quite different.
That’s why the top management guys are generally paid the most because they lay the foundation of the company’s future with their decisions.
- When you’re young, you have the luxury of your decisions being made by your parents. They handle all the affairs; your finances or academics but that’s not something you get in adulthood.
- Now you have to suddenly make your decisions and also face the consequences alone should you make a bad one which is always likely to happen given your limited experience early on.
- You want help, assistance, and guidance but don’t know where to turn to. All you can see is your peers struggling for their lives like you or elders being too busy with their past traumas.
10. You Are Uncertain of Your Talents
What are your strengths and weaknesses? Nobody can answer it without getting significant exposure. When you try out ten things, only then can you know where your strengths and passion lie and what your challenging points are.
When people are just starting their professional lives, they don’t know what their specialty is. They feel confused about what to do or what career path to choose.
This can easily lead one to feel they aren’t talented, making them feel lost and invisible in this busy world. No wonder your 20s are so hard.
11. You Have Uncertainty About the Future
You wake up from the teenage dream and find yourself surrounded by havoc. Everything seems to fall apart, the business you want to do goes bankrupt, your finances are shattered, and your relationships are suffering. That’s a typical package of adulthood. And amidst the usual crisis, it becomes uncertain what lies ahead.
The fear of the unknown creeps in and you dread if it’s going to continue this way. You feel volatile, associating the future’s prediction with every bit of ups and downs you get.
- This is the time when many begin to compare themselves with others because they don’t know where this road leads to. So, they try to gauge their performance with what their peers are doing.
- This can take a hit at your mental health and induce anxiety. You become exceedingly worried about the future and some even begin to associate themselves with failure early on.
- Many suffer from obsessive-compulsive disorder by making overthinking their daily habit. Some shatter their self-esteem by excessive comparison. However, these help with nothing but add to the suffering.
12. You Feel Like a Small Fish in The Pond
Another potent reason your 20s are so hard is being inexperienced. When you are just starting your adulthood journey, it’s easy to feel like a small fish in a pond. If you join a company, you’ll be a trainee. If you try to learn on your own, you’ll be a novice. The point is, you’ll be standing at the first stone everywhere which may stir feelings of inferiority in you.
You’ll look around and see powerful authority figures and wonder if you’ll ever touch their level. This comparison can take a toll on your mental health and diminish your uniqueness.
What To Do If You Think Your 20s Are Hard
If you’re struggling in your 20s, know that everyone is. It’s just that they are not willing to show their side but almost everyone has the same problem.
You’ll eventually get over the trouble once you pick up the pace but here are some tips you can do to make it happen faster.
Acknowledge Your Situation
The first step is to acknowledge your problems. Yes, 20s can be stressful but what makes it even worse is turning a blind eye to your problems. They won’t leave you alone but your fears will only go stronger with time.
So first things first, acknowledge your troubles and write them down. If you’re acknowledging a problem, it doesn’t mean it has to stay, you’re just preparing to list down your troubles and kill them.
Shift Your Attitude
It’s easy to feel sorry for yourself when you are ambushed by every unpleasant thing you can imagine. But know it, it’s a reminder that you have a long way to go and so much to do.
If you couldn’t do something right at first, no problem. Do it again. Know that it’s a matter of time till you master it. That’s how life works. You don’t have to blame yourself for it.
Face Your Fears
There’s nothing more satisfying and rewarding than knowing that you’re making progress. You may have any fear, your 20s are the time when you can capitalize on your weaknesses and emerge victorious in the long run.
And keep in mind that nobody expects you to conquer the world in a decade, so don’t feel the pressure of making up to imagined expectations.
Learn to detach yourself from unnecessary thoughts and keep doing what you are doing at your own pace and everything will eventually fall into place.
Make Small Behavior Changes
Transformation may seem drastic but it never is. It’s a gradual process where you make a small change in your behaviors and keep practicing them every day.
The effects are seemingly unnoticeable but they are there, they keep piling up until someone tells you, “You have changed so much” and you wonder, “Have I?”.
The key to transforming your life is to transform your habits by making small shifts. The key here is consistency, you have to be committed to changing your behaviors and avoid falling back. Over time, the change will become second nature and an effortless part of you.
Conclusion
If you made it to the end, you would now have a good understanding of why are your 20s so hard.
We had a look at numerous reasons why people struggle in their 20s and what are the different challenges people have to face. The beauty is, that almost everyone has to go through the same challenges yet it feels so dreading and remote.
Despite the hardships, the 20s are the time when the most powerful characters get built. The fire you feel has the potential to turn you into gold, should you work on self-awareness and remain consistent in your efforts.
As you will know over time, you will cultivate inner confidence and have an easier time navigating your life.
So keep grinding, keep learning for you have nothing but to win.
