Have you been wondering lately, ‘Why does my husband seek female attention?’
Imagine your marriage going all good then suddenly your husband begins to get interested in the other females. Did I do something wrong? Is he losing interest in me? You begin to get a bad feeling about your relationship.
Unfortunately, it’s a situation you are bound to face sometime in your life. Not only it will hurt you but make you doubt the stability of your marriage.
But don’t worry. By the end of this article, you will gather all the details about why is your husband seeking female attention and get to the root cause of the problem.
So without further ado, let’s move forward.
Why Does My Husband Seek Female Attention?
There could be various reasons why your husband seeks female attention. Sometimes it can be a confusion between a gut feeling or relationship anxiety. However, you can find the most common reasons along with the cues to recognize them.
So, let’s go on a hunt!
1. Your Husband Is a Serial Cheater
If your husband seeks female attention, it is one of the most subtle clues that your husband is a serial cheater. What, a serial cheater? Yes!
It’s actually a manipulation tactic that most people don’t know.
Your husband might have been brewing some love behind your back for quite a long. His desires have increased to the point that he finds them difficult to hide from you.
But he is also afraid to disclose them to you. Therefore, he is deploying a manipulation tactic by trying to do a lesser evil version of the game of seeking females’ attention and being friendly with them.
You may confront him initially but he will hush you off saying you are thinking too much or some similar excuse which will make you wonder if you are overreacting and will most likely shut up.
He will then slowly increase his game of seeking female attention and since you are keeping quiet wrongly for not overreacting, he will take this as a token that you are okay with this.
He’ll then escalate things and take the game to the next level by openly cheating on you. If you confront him then about it, he will excuse you coldly like “Oh! I thought you always have been okay with it.”
He will rationalize his behavior and blame you for his actions but it will be too late for you as you will be left with a heartbreak.
Cues – Your Husband Is a Serial Cheater
- Your husband had many affairs before meeting you.
- You notice your husband getting particularly interested when you mention some girl’s name.
- Your husband idealizes celebrities who have playboy tendencies.
2. Your Husband Is Trying to Make You Jealous
Another big reason your husband seeks female attention is because he is trying to make you jealous.
But why?
You could have done something knowingly or unknowingly that made him jealous in the past.
Now he’s trying to make you jealous to hurt you back and level the score.
He may be trying to behave normally in front of you but is cooking up schemes in the back of his mind as a payback.
To confirm this, you can do this trick. When your husband seeks female attention with extra attention, what is followed by it?
Does he glimpse at you from the corner of his eyes to check your reaction? Or he treats you with something different on that day, with some increased coldness?
It’s actually his efforts to draw a contrast between you and other females and give you an impression that he’s interested in others while not in you.
And that increased coldness toward you is to make you uncomfortable with the tense atmosphere, and force you to break the ice by enquiring him about the incident.
And when your husband will see you getting upset with what happened, he’ll be secretly pleased by it.
The chances of this happening are more likely if your husband is of a competitive nature.
Cues – Your Husband Is Trying to Make You Jealous
- His tone gets a bit artificial when he mentions a female, it lowkey feels like he wants to see your reaction.
- Your husband seeks female attention but it is shortly followed by him trying to observe you from the corner of his eyes.
- Sometimes he flatly admires a particular woman in your face, feels a bit daring on his part but feels as if he’s trying to provoke you.
3. Your Husband Suffers from Self-Doubts
Self-doubts are everywhere. And it’s impossible to get rid of them.
Even the most confident people have self-doubts from time to time.
And they are helpful as well to an extent since they allow you to assess the situation from a worst-case scenario and prepare yourself accordingly.
However, if you allow yourself to be drowned in the sea of self-doubts, then you start behaving in an unhealthy way, just like your husband does.
There’s a strong chance your husband seeks female attention because he has some voids in his mind about himself.
He might have been bullied in the past or have some issues with himself in the present about his self-image, where he doesn’t find himself to be worthy of attention or admiration.
To compensate for it and to distract himself from this suffering, he craves female company to find temporary pleasure in it.
Any slight approval or admiration he finds from these random females acts like a tonic to your husband and makes him feel somewhat better about himself.
Cues – Your Husband Suffers from Self-Doubts
- Your husband mostly never has been a high achiever in his life.
- Your husband can be easily persuaded and usually follow others’ advice without analyzing the situation subjectively.
4. Your Husband Has Excessive Loneliness
Another potential reason your husband seeks female attention is he is pretty lonely inside.
It’s easy to keep getting busy as your life unfolds and hence spend less and less time with your partner. We may not be even aware and become ignorant of our duties towards our partner.
Under these circumstances, your partner is not always going to be vocal about this situation due to certain reasons.
For example, he may feel insecure and afraid of appearing controlling if he confronts you about your busy schedule.
What he’s likely to do is to resort to ways whether good or bad, to address his loneliness and fill the gap.
Your husband may initially become interested in talking to other females as a way to cope with his loneliness.
Once this starts, it’s likely to escalate and go beyond just talking and thus giving you headaches.
Cues – Your Husband Has Excessive Loneliness
- Your husband mostly remains silent.
- Your husband craves other people’s company and sort of tries to mingle with others forcefully at gatherings.
- Your husband appears as a people pleaser when trying to enter another’s company.
5. Your Husband Has Narcissistic Tendencies
Watch out! Your husband could be a narcissist!
Narcissists are very good at deceiving people into thinking that they are very confident and charismatic but reality is just something else.
These people not only have self-doubts but also rely on external validation to feel good about themselves.
And if your husband seeks female attention, he could be a narcissist who is seeking external validation to fill his insecurity voids.
For example, your husband could have doubts about his looks, desirability, or something similar and he actively seeks approval from other females to feel good about himself.
And this approval only lasts for so much and he has to do it again as the doubts creep back in.
And as a side effect, he has to resort to other females again and again.
If it’s really the case of narcissism, your husband would also exhibit this behavior in other areas of life as well.
Therefore, you should take a thorough look before making any assumptions.
Cues – Your Husband Is a Narcissist
- Your husband is not good at taking criticism and makes a fuss out of it.
- Your husband tries to get himself in the limelight in every conversation.
- Your husband rarely focuses on others and mostly is focused on ‘I’. All stories he tells are about himself and his glory only.
6. Your Husband Has Unmet Needs
Let’s talk facts. Marriage is a complex bond that is fueled by mutual efforts and understanding.
If one of the spouses starts to play on the back foot and neglects his deliverables, it gives a breeding ground for all sorts of misunderstandings which turn into nightmares soon enough.
If you have been busy with your life lately with your career, chores, or similar which resulted in neglect towards your husband, he will not be very pleased by it.
He will rationalize it in twisted ways like you got changed and no longer care for him, and will look out for other ways to fulfill his needs.
Now the situation is your husband seeks female attention with the intent of forging a bond with them and taking it to the next level because he believes you no longer care for him.
Cues – Your Husband Has Unmet Needs
- Your husband mostly remains silent with you and feels as if he is holding back something from you.
- Your husband doesn’t actively make any effort to elevate your relationship.
7. Your Husband Is Seeking Revenge on You
This one is particularly dangerous as you’ll need to look out to avoid getting hurt.
This world is a diverse place with people of different backgrounds, different perspectives, and different reasoning powers.
This is what makes our world so beautiful yet potentially very dangerous as well since you can never accurately predict how the other person is going to react to your deeds.
Not everyone is going to return your insult with an insult or punch with a punch, not everyone play by the rules.
Someone will harm you tenfold for a small thing and will be very amused by it. Or they may lack empathy altogether and enjoy harming others. That’s what psychopaths or sadistics do.
If your husband happens to be a dark personality, though minor, he’ll make your life miserable.
If that’s the case, your husband seeks female attention not because he wants to do anything with them or you did anything wrong, it’s because he wants to hurt you.
He wants to shatter your self-image, have self-doubts, or cause your mental sickness.
He feels some weird satisfaction from it.
The chances of this thing are slim but definitely possible as has been seen in numerous instances throughout history with psychopaths or other dark personalities.
Cues – Your Husband Is Seeking Revenge on You
- Your husband throws some critical remarks at you and acts overly critical.
- Your husband appears very controlling and micromanaging sometimes.
- Your husband has a history of never forgiving anyone and always going for revenge. He still remembers the old conflicts he had with other people.
What Should You Do If Your Husband Seeks Female Attention
By now, you would have got a good understanding of potential reasons why your husband can get interested in other females.
Now your job is to find out the main culprit so you would tackle it and deal with it effectively.
You can do so using the cues mentioned above. They will help you single out the main reason your husband seeks female attention.
As you will know the culprit, it will be easier for you to prepare your defenses and get them sorted out. You will need to sit down with your husband and explain to him that you know why he has been behaving in this way and it should not be continuing like this as it hurts you.
Use ‘I’ statements here. It will help you state your issues clearly without attacking your husband. Always remember, call out the message but not the messenger.
You may always go for consulting a specialist if required.
FAQ
Conclusion
This brings us to the end of the article ‘Why does my husband seek female attention?’
You now have got powerful insights into your query and know different potential reasons leading to it. You also could see different cues that will help you pinpoint the reason your husband is after other females.
At the heart of this unfortunate question, the most probable reason is your husband seeks something outside that he can’t find with you, supposing your husband does not have unhealthy tendencies or a dark personality.
Knowing exactly why your husband is suddenly getting interested in other females will help you figure out the solution and save you from a lot of hassle and drama but you need to be smart and calm in your approach to avoid escalating the situation.
Which one of these reasons do you relate to? Let us know in the comments below!
Leave a Reply