6 Signs You’re Wasting Your Time Trying to Get Your Ex Back

Have you been chasing your old love but sometimes wonder if you’re wasting your time trying to get your ex back?

Breakup is a complicated thing. Sometimes it comes with mutual understanding of both partners. But other times, it’s a one-sided decision where one partner never agreed on it.

The latter leaves the person feeling as if it was not fair for them and they feel the effect of their gone partner lingering with them.

It leaves them with a secret desire that their ex may come back into their life. This makes them push things to get them back but there’s no guarantee that their efforts will be fruitful which can waste a lot of their time.

However, to save yourself from this misery, you can make use of signs and deduce if you’re wasting your time trying to get your ex back.

And that’s exactly what this article is all about, and within the next few minutes, you’ll know if you’re going on the right track.

So without further ado, let’s get started.

Signs You’re Wasting Your Time Trying to Get Your Ex Back

If you’re pressing all the buttons trying to get your ex back but notice the following signs, you can be sure that they are never coming back and you’re just wasting your time.

1. Breakup Blues: The Bitter End

How your relationship ended matters a lot when it comes to trying to get your ex back.

Our minds are designed something like this. When we come across a certain situation with someone, it triggers all the similar experiences in the past and your mind goes into the tunneling vision.

For example, if you encounter a negative situation with someone, you will remember all the negative experiences with them, even though there would have been positive experiences as well.

And the same thing for positive experiences as well.

A very common complaint in relationships is “You never take care of me”. There certainly are moments of caring otherwise the relationship can’t survive without mutual respect but the reason for this complaint is the recent negative experience which triggers memories of all the past negative experiences.

Now if you had a nasty breakup where everything just came down falling, it will be relatively difficult for you to get your ex back since your ex will be brewing all the negative experiences you had with him or her.

2. Post Breakup Indifference

How your ex chooses to react toward you after the breakup will be a factor in figuring out if they are willing to come back.

Your ex will only come back if they want to and you can’t do anything about it. If you make advancements towards them to restore things only to find them indifferent to your efforts, chances are you’re wasting your time trying to get your ex back.

For example, you may encounter them at a party and approach them. You’ll tell them how you’re sorry at how things turned out and you want nothing more than getting back together.

You’ll pour your heart into these words but they won’t feel anything. You can’t see the warmth and compassion in their eyes and they already want to leave the scene.

If it feels as if you don’t even exist to them when you’re expressing your desire to be together, get going already as you’re throwing away your precious time on your ex.

3. Public Breakups: A Sign to Let Go

Making something public often happens when you deem a task to be done. You must’ve heard that some people keep the news of anything private until the task has been accomplished. It helps by taking unnecessary peer pressure off you but that’s not the point here. The main thing is these people only share news when they are done with the thing.

A breakup is a mishap and people willing to mend things usually don’t share this bad news with anyone or only with very close friends. They keep a low profile and try to repair things to be together.

But if your ex has made your breakup public and has let everyone know about it, they have accepted their fate and are not coming back together. If you’re still pushing things to have them back, you’re just wasting your time trying to get your ex back.

And even if your ex considers getting back together with you after making the breakup public, they will feel immense peer pressure. Everyone will be poking them about why are they changing their decision now. This added pressure would persuade them to drop the idea of being with you again even if they want it.

This doesn’t mean you can’t win them back but your chances have gotten even more slimmer.

4. Unread Messages: The Deal Breaker

This one is connected to the second point but manifests itself in a different form.

Let’s say you want your ex back and are leaving no stone unturned to have them back. You’re calling them, messaging them, and trying to contact them through social media.

But all you get is blue ticks and unanswered calls. It could either mean they are teasing you but this teasing time frame doesn’t last that long, or it could mean they no longer see the future with you.

Their unread messages and unanswered calls are like barred doors. They have locked their door of life to you and if you’re still trying to crack it, you’re only throwing away your precious time on your ex.

5. Social Media Ghosting

I know a guy who had a breakup. It was an ordinary one though, nothing special. But his ex didn’t remove him from social media. He was still on her Facebook friend list. They would low-key share posts for each other, dropping hints which sometimes later led to both of them talking. And they got back again.

He had not been removed from the social media which acted as a medium of recovery.

If a breakup happens and your ex doesn’t remove you from their social media, it’s like a loose end.

But if your ex has removed you from social media and blocked you from all platforms, it means they are not leaving any loose ends behind. They want to cut off all the ties with you, even the digital ones.

If you find yourself in a similar boat, stop chasing your ex as you’ll be only wasting your time trying to get them back.

6. No Emotional Bond

One particular thing that will directly affect the chances of your ex coming back into your life is your emotional bonding.

How much emotionally bonded you were before your breakup?

We humans make investments in terms of wealth, time, and even emotions. It’s much harder to abandon your childhood friend than your high school friend because you’ve invested much more in him.

The same goes for your relationship. If you both were mutually invested with each other, it wouldn’t be easy to forget about each other and move on just for the sake of moving on.

One can’t simply turn off a switch and forget about past pleasant experiences, it’s just not possible.

But if you already had been getting bad feelings about your relationship due to poor emotional bonding and then the breakup happened, then we have a situation.

Now if you’re into restoring things, then you’re wasting your time trying to get your ex back. This breakup will be more like a breath of escape for them and they can’t think of ever getting back again.

How Do I Make Sure My Ex Will Come Back?

Now no magic pill can make this happen. But some ways can increase the likelihood of your ex coming back into your life. Let’s look at them:

1. First you need to understand why the breakup happened because that is the root cause of all the scenarios. To get your ex back, you need to eliminate the root cause to make it happen.
2. It’s not that easy to just go to your ex and tell them you won’t do it again and they’ll happily accept it. Life doesn’t work that way. You first need to tell them why the root cause happened and if you can explain the reason, then it will give you a good edge. It will help your ex understand your perspective and feel empathy toward you.
3. Now tell them what measures will you take to make sure it won’t happen again. It’s again not that easy to say it won’t happen and they just nod. You need to explain how you’ll make sure to not repeat such a thing. For example, if your breakup happened because you hit them physically, tell them how you’re working on it through counseling and seriousness to eliminate the flaw in you.

There’s no guarantee they’ll always accept your offer but the above-mentioned steps will definitely increase the chances of getting your ex back.

Conclusion

Congratulations! You’ve made it to the end of the article.

You could explore the signs which will deduce if you’re failing wasting your time trying to get your ex back. We also explained the signs using the psychological perspective to make you get a good grasp of them.

Then we briefly saw what can you do if you want to get your ex back.

Breakup is a harsh thing and takes a serious toll on you. But it’s important to prioritize your mental. Though it’s tempting to repair things quickly but don’t be like a doormat if they aren’t interested. They have a right to say no to you and you don’t need to destroy yourself for it. Don’t throw away your precious time on your ex who isn’t interested and get over it.

Love yourself too and believe that you deserve better and will get better soon. It’s just a matter of time.

That sums up everything in this article. What do you have to say about it? Let us know in the comments below!