7 Subtle Signs You Are Married to A Covert Narcissist Wife

Are you wondering whether you are married to a covert narcissist wife or just curious about covert narcissist wife traits in general? Then you are in the right place. Within next few minutes, you will uncover subtle signs to know if your wife is something else underneath her appearance.

It’s going to be a powerful read.

So, stick with us till the end to uncover this mystery.

What Is Being Married to A Covert Narcissist Wife Like?

Being married to a covert narcissist wife is nothing short of havoc. Your well-being depends so much on your life partner and if they are toxic in nature, your life is going to be miserable.

If your wife is a covert narcissist, she will constantly need you to keep up with her demands of validation and feed her with attention. And what makes it even more dangerous is she is not like ordinary narcissists that you can see from a mile away.

She will appear to you just like normal people doing normal things, but all the toxicity and danger will be lying underneath the surface, hidden from you, only to you surprise you one day when it would have been too late.

You will feel like a pawn played by the time you realize it and would have exhausted loads of energy, but nothing left other than to mourn. It is going to cost you valuable time, mental health, and overall well-being.

Had the abuse been strong, you could suffer from trauma ages after the incident.

Therefore, it makes it extremely important to uncover the fact if you are married to a covert narcissist wife early on to save yourself from unimaginable misery and trouble.

Why Do People Become Narcissists?

Narcissism has always been there from generation to generation since the dawn of time. The need of getting attention and validation has made the men take very daring feats. Some even go to extreme lengths such as harming others, taking their lives, or even their own lives.

But what lies behind the narcissism façade that just keeps playing people like puppets?

When we are young, we don’t know how capable we are as we don’t have any accomplishments to our name. So, the sanest thing is to look outside to see how others are perceiving us. If they give us validation and praise, then we feel worthy. But if they don’t, then doubts begin to breed inside us about ourselves.

However, this constant seeking of validation from the outside isn’t viable for us so what most of us do, is we make images of ourselves in our minds where we imagine ourselves as necessarily good, virtuous, and pleasant. And in the moments of doubt about our worthiness, we resort to this self-created image in our minds and feel good.

But those who are not able to generate this self-image, they remain dependent on others. They must constantly seek other’s validation and praise to maintain their worth and that’s how they become self-absorbed.

But these people know how this seeking validation is frowned upon so they become covert narcissists, trying to appear normal on the surface but secretly craving for validation.

Now if you have a covert narcissist wife, good chances are she doesn’t hold herself in high regard and lives in self-doubt.

Signs Of a Covert Narcissist Wife

If you are married to a covert narcissist wife, look for the following subtle signs in her to uncover the truth as early as you can.

1. Sudden Aggression If You Disagree

The number one telltale sign we have on the list is prone to aggression during a disagreement.

When interacting with people of different backgrounds, disagreements are inevitable and not a bad thing at all.

However, not in the book of narcissists.

These people see disagreement as an attack on their dignity and intelligence.

If you have a covert narcissist wife, the first thing to notice is how she reacts when you disagree with her on something.

Overt narcissists tend to express their anger openly but since you are dealing with a covert narcissist, the aggression will be difficult to catch.

What you need to do is pay attention to the body language especially the facial expression of your wife during disagreement.

There will be slight disdain and contempt during such moments and may even be accompanied by a little spike in the tonality of voice.

Your wife may also raise her eyebrows, stick her eyes out a bit and expose her neck slightly by lifting her chin.

This is a sign of attack and aggression. It’s like she wants to attack you but hiding it for social acceptance.

2. Nodding To You but Not Really Listening

Narcissists are people who are preoccupied with their grandiosity and superiority complex that they don’t really pay much attention to others.

Since you are married to a covert narcissist wife, she doesn’t want to openly show you that she has little interest in your talk.

But here’s how to catch her red-handed for it.

When you’re talking, and you see your wife excessively nodding to you as if she’s understanding everything, something might be wrong.

To ensure it, you could deliberately throw a wrong fact and notice her reaction.

If she continues to nod, then it means she was never listening to you but was only nodding to appear likable.

She’s even nodding to conclude the matter as soon as possible, so she would get a chance to share her say and be want she wants to be, the star of the show.

3. Excessive Artificial Warmth When in Public

If your wife isn’t really into giving you attention and care when alone but showers you with excessive love and care when in public, then you should look out.

However, it’s natural to comply with social norms and thus give you more attention in public to keep up with that and there’s nothing wrong with that.

But if you sense that this behavior stems from the need of your wife to give an impression to others that she’s like this with you in your private life, then it’s a sign you are married to a covert narcissist wife.

And what makes this even more clear, these attempts from your wife to impress others will also be accompanied by lies and made-up stories about how she takes care of you.

It’s a pure attempt on her part to get in the good books of others and seek validation to feel good about herself.

4. Giving You the Silent Treatment for No Apparent Reason

This one may appear simple on the surface but a very powerful tactic of controlling someone.

And if your wife shows signs of it, that’s another clue that she’s a covert narcissist.

The cycle goes like this. You get a little busy in your life due to something and thus begin to spend less time with your wife.

Normal people will show some reaction to such a situation but then understand your situation and go on.

But since your wife is a covert narcissist, she’ll attempt to control without you even guessing about it.

She won’t react much to you for giving her less time and attention but will withdraw her love and care for you and appear distant.

She’ll begin to give you a silent treatment. You’ll soon take notice of her behavior and will try to win her love back. And in doing so, you’ll begin to give her extra attention and validation, even compromising on your work if you have to.

She won’t be very concerned about your work though because all she’s after is the extra validation and attention to feed her ego.

5. Making A Fuss Out of Petty Things

One thing all narcissists love to do is make issues out of things very petty in nature.

And if you can relate, then it is bad news for you. It’s one more point in the department that you are married to a covert narcissist wife.

Your narcissistic wife craves a lot of attention and that’s quite apparent already. But, when she’s not getting any opportunity to be in the spotlight then she’ll have to turn her attention to petty issues.

Not her favourite dish though but it’s like scavenging on whatever you can find.

She’ll take a small issue and twist it in a way that will erupt in drama. Though not always but it mostly happens in front of an audience.

What good of acting when you don’t have an audience to spectate? Right?

She’ll almost always portray herself as a victim in that drama to not only gain the attention of the audience but also their attention.

Good pay for a small effort. Eh?

6. Steering The Situation Toward Herself

Do you know what is a nightmare to a narcissist? It’s losing the spotlight.

If your wife can’t stand the spotlight being shifted away from her during a conversation, then you should get an alert if you aren’t already.

However, since you are married to a covert narcissist wife, she won’t be doing it out loud but in very subtle ways.

She may ask such questions or give such answers that will ultimately lead to facts she wants you to arrive at.

She’ll then give such a remark that will guarantee her entry into the discussion and again the spotlight effect will start.

7. A Subtle Contempt on Her Face When You Are Talking

How does a conversation appear to a narcissist?

It’s their opportunity to score the most runs and gather as much validation and praise as they can to feed their never fulfilling ego.

Which sadly means that most of the time, a narcissist doesn’t see any benefit in listening to you.

You had been listening to your wife for quite some time, and now as you have just started to say your part, she suddenly begins to feel distant.

She may begin to play with necklaces, hair, or other pacifying behaviors.

She may even bring contempt to her face for a brief period if you begin to take more time.

Inside the mind of your wife, she just can’t wait for you to shut up so she would bring up another story and tell everyone how amazing she’s.

Conclusion

This brings us to the end of this article.

We could see different signs you are married to a covert narcissist wife.

Living with a narcissist is a living hell and very damaging to your mental due to the constant demands of attention and validation.

A certain level of demand for validation and attention is completely normal in a relationship and even desirable but it’s very important to know if this demand stems from a genuine need for intimacy or narcissistic tendencies.

Therefore, we have provided you with some cues you can look for and uncover whether you have a covert narcissist wife.

Your wife may show one or two signs on the mentioned but not really a big deal.

But when these appear in bulk and cluster, then there is a good chance where are headed toward the narcissist department.

It’s a good idea to further consult a professional for further confirmation when in doubt.

Which one of these signs have you noticed in people around you?

Have you ever noticed your wife exhibiting any of the signs? Let us know in the comments below.