6 Clear Signs Your Friend is Jealous of Your Looks

Are you wondering if your friend is jealous of your looks?

If may feel like a betrayal or as if your friend doesn’t value you but the fact is jealousy among friends is quite normal and in most cases, not serious.

But yes! Sometimes it can surpass the limit and turn into your biggest nightmare, especially if you don’t detect it early on.

Numerous incidents throughout history have confirmed this time and time again, where people had their lives destroyed by a friend whose jealousy went sky high.

But you don’t have to worry as by the end of this article, you’ll know what jealousy looks like in friends and how can you deal with a secretly jealous friend.

So without further ado, let’s get started.

Why would your friend become jealous?

The main question is, why does a friend become jealous in the first place? To answer this, let’s not forget your friend is a human too, and all the human tendencies are relevant to him as well.

It’s a fundamental human need to seek pleasure and therefore acquire things and status in the pursuit of this.

However, when we find someone else in the possession of a thing we want but we are having a hard time getting it, we begin brewing negative feelings inside us, “Why do they have it while I don’t?”

This is what leads to jealousy, it doesn’t matter who that person is, it could be your family member or friend as in the case of this article, it can happen with everyone.

Why do I feel like my friend is jealous?

There are two possibilities for this:

1. You feel like your friend is jealous because he’s actually jealous.
2. It’s because you have some difficult past experiences causing you to be paranoid.

In this case, you behave hyper-sensitively to innocent remarks and view them in a negative light.

In the first case, you feel your friend is jealous of your looks because they pass such remarks and comments that hint towards jealousy or their passive-aggressive behavior.

For example

• You went to a party wearing that beautiful dress but your friend would say, “Oh c’mon! You’re not a model so don’t dress like that”.
• You are in shopping store with your friend. They suddenly hit you with “You should try this dress, maybe it will make you look better”.

Notice that subtle belittlement or mockery? It’s like your friend taking a jab at you and make you doubt about your looks. It’s not difficult to understand that your friend is jealous of your looks and is being mean without being direct.

Signs your friend is jealous of your looks

So far, we have seen why your friend would become jealous in the first place.

Now let’s talk about the different signs your friend is jealous of your looks so you can detect them early on and take precautions timely.

1. The Deceptive Compliment: When the Dress Doesn’t Fit

The world plays a subtle game and directs the hostility in indirect ways.

If your friend is jealous of your looks, don’t expect him to go gun blazing and tell you on your face that, “Hey! I envy you!”.

Humans avoid conflict and try to express their dislikes subtly and indirectly. (like the example we saw earlier)

One way of having their revenge is by harming you indirectly.

For Example

If you have the looks and that’s making your friend burn secretly inside, they may try to “snatch” it away from you. They may try to convince that a dress looks good on you but it actuality it doesn’t. So you may wear and they get the pleasure by see you “suffering”.

Quite petty and childish on one’s part, but you got to do a lot when you are insecure.

2. The Silent Contempt: That Look at Gatherings

This one is the opposite of the earlier one. What if your jealous friend fails to convince you to wear the ugly dress? You should remember again that humans don’t express their dislike in direct ways but rather in subtle ways.

If your friend fails in their mission, they will be feeling, “Ah! missed!”.

And this “failure” will be exhibited through their face, you just have to pay attention.

They will be sporting contempt on their face or appear a bit cold towards you. “Did you get the drink”. YES! (coldly)

3. The Gossip Trail: Hearing About Your Looks from Others

Here comes another way through which humans vent their hostile feelings.

If your friend is jealous of your looks, they may resort to spreading rumors about you, especially about your looks since that’s their trouble area.

They may tell other people petty things and sometimes even flat lies to fulfill their gratification.

For Example

• You may hear from a third person things like “I heard you’ve gained some pounds, doesn’t look to me though”.

If that’s the case, you can be sure that someone has been gossiping behind your back about your looks, your friend in your case since you can notice other signs in them as well.

The reason why a jealous friend will resort to gossip is that it is an easy way to throw dirt at someone without confronting him. A jealous person who has negative feelings towards you will project in on others like a child projects his fantasies through stories.

These are flat lies but soothe the fragile ego of your friend.

4. The Imitator: Criticizing Your Looks but Copying Your Style

Have you ever found your friend criticizing your dressing sense and style but then copying the same thing themselves sometime later?

It must’ve sounded confusing to you. However, it’s a red sign your friend is jealous of your looks.

They low-key love your look and style but find it too difficult to admit it openly because in their mind, praising you for your looks means you are better than them which hurts their ego.

To feel better about it, they criticize you for your looks but know inside that this isn’t the case. They take their inspiration and copy the same style sometime later, hoping things have cooled down and you haven’t noticed.

5. The Silent Treatment: Compliments You Never Hear

Another clear but subtle sign that your friend is jealous of your looks is that you’ll never hear any compliment from them, not even a slight one.

It’s like they are never impressed or at least act this way and go to extreme lengths ignoring you for your looks sometimes.

Such an example could be a girl on her wedding who looks drop-dead gorgeous and everyone can’t help but compliment her, her jealous friend will completely act as if it’s nothing special.

They’ll go the extra mile to ignore you and bring up something completely out of place.

For example, if a jealous friend encounters you while you look like a Disney princess, instead of taking notice of it (verbally), they will go, “Have you seen my phone?” or something similar completely out of place.

6. The Underminer: Subtle Put-Downs of Your Dress Sense

If your friend has been jealous of your looks for quite some time but couldn’t undermine you much and quench the thirst, they will feel a need to “up” their game.

Instead of being indirect, they’ll criticize you openly and be verbal about it.

They’ll say things like, “Hey! Why do you look so bad now” or “You no longer are as good”.

Your jealous friend wants to instill doubts in you about your looks and destroy your self-esteem.

An attempt to soothe their ego by dragging you down.

When it happens though, you can be very certain that all the coldness and rumors that had been happening till now, your jealous friend was behind it.

How do you deal with a secretly jealous friend without creating any drama

So far we could see how do friends act when they are jealous of your looks. Now let’s see what you can do to deal with a secretly jealous friend.

1. Know About The Situation

The first step is to know if your friend is really jealous of you or if it’s all in your head. The signs you saw above will help you with your quest. And be on alert if it is, since it’s never a good idea to have your attacker face your back.

2. Don’t Let Him Get Under Your Skin

As you would have known by now, the jealousy in your friend stems from their low self-esteem. And the ugly remarks they make about you are the result of it. Therefore, don’t let their harsh words affect you.

Always remember that the person trying to throw dirt at you needs you to believe their words to have power over you.

If you choose not to let in it, you take away that power and they can’t do anything about it.

3. Distance Where Necessary

You may find it hard to deflect their insults or tolerate their hurtful remarks. If this happens then maintain your distance.

Don’t try to mingle too much and mind your business. The less you face them, the lesser chance they would have to harm you.

Conclusion

Congratulations! You’ve made it to the end of the article.

You would now know what jealousy looks like in a friend and where it stems from. You could study different signs your friend is jealous of your looks along with the psychological reason behind them.

Then you could see how to deal with a secretly jealous friend without indulging in any hassle or drama. Always remember that if someone throws dirt at you, the problem lies with them not you. Most of the time, it’s their insecurity that makes them behaving this way.

So instead of letting their words drag you down, feel pity for them as that’s what they actually deserve. Keep shining and keep believing in yourself. The only time you are down is when you believe you are.

References

Krems, Jaimie & Williams, Keelah & Aktipis, C. & Kenrick, Douglas. (2020). Friendship jealousy: One tool for maintaining friendships in the face of third-party threats? Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. 120. 10.1037/pspi0000311.

Ramachandran, V. S., & Jalal, B. (2017). The Evolutionary Psychology of Envy and Jealousy. Frontiers in Psychology, 8.